Sunday, February 20, 2005
grrr... the devil is lik so having "fun" with me now huh.. throwing bad things at me one after another.. im sure yesterday's entry has made it quite clear dat i've not been in the best of moods lately.. this morning while on the way to tuition.. i almost cried out cuz was reminded of the maths test den thought of the 2 hours which i had to spend on tuition again and i juz felt so sian.. when i got out of the car and into the lift, one nottie tear just rolled down.. argh.. i was lik the only person who went tuition just now and so all his attention was practically focused on me.. great just wad i needed.. poof... i was so blur today and while he was explaining to me, i jus drifted off a little? just a little.. haii...
after tuition, went bedok to meet up with the caregroup.. there was this inter district caregroup games at east coast park.. so we met up, ate a little den made our way there.. for once i thought dat everything is turning out to be good, and i felt quite relaxed while playing the games there.. little did i noe dat after the games, when i went to look for my bag which was supposedly to be under the tree, it was gone.. and so was kai yan's one.. i went around the whole field searching for the bag but to no avail.. told kai yan.. she was at a lost too and told the other leaders.. after much much much much searching.. the bags were still unable to be found.. and so, i just left that dreaded place sadly.. however so many d.a.r.e ppl came over to encourage me and comfort me dat i didnt feel so sad n didnt have any urge to cry or whatsoever.. i juz held a smile on my face, it wasnt too fake after all.. went to macs to eat dinner den later on met my mum at marine bowl.. that was when all the action began...
she started scolding me saying dat i shouldnt have left my bag unattended, shouldnt have brought so many things, blah blah.. should haf been more responsible, leaders should be responsible blah blah.. and i was lik trying desperately to explain time and time again.. everyone left their bags together in one pile.. we were playing GAMES and thus would not carry our belongings with us rite.. moreover, there were leaders there who werent realli playing and just sitting around.. they didnt see any suspicious ppl or anything.. and my bag was one of the first to be put down, so it should be covered by at least one bag? i dunno lahh.. so anyway she continued scolding and accusing me, saying how irresponsible and i should have this should have that.. den i got SOOO fed up and like said dat YA SO I SHOULDNT EVA GO FOR CAREGROUPS ANY MORE IZIT? NEXT TIME I GO OUT DUN BRING WALLET AND HP IZIT? cuz she said dat everytime i go out with caregroup den sumthing lidat happens.. den she ask mi why i bring so many valuables along.. goshhh.. i couldnt take it anymore.. and was crying crying sobbing all the way home.. finally when i was in my room, i just let out 2 sentences.. U THINK I WANTED FOR THIS TO HAPPEN? THOSE THINGS WERE MINE AND IT WAS IMPORTANT TO ME TOO, NOT ONLY TO U.. oki b4 i carry on, i shall mention wad things were exactly in my bag..
wallet[with ezlink card and resident pass], handphone[sobx the one dat makes mi the saddest, all contacts are now reduced to 0], bunch of keys[house key, secret cupboard key and shoe locker key..], pencil case[hais my new beautiful op pencil case with my new bought orange pen and my school individual photos], pink mirror[bought it from taiwan and was my fav], handsfree set, lime magazine.. the rest i cannot remember liao.. and dun intend to.. so to continue, i was lik crying on my bed and thinking of my loss.. and den i SUDDENly thought about the tsunami victims, just suddenly.. cuz i remembered dat they practically lost their entire homes, families, livelihood and their hopes.. and i came to think dat i'm not dat bad after all.. itz just a bag.. i'm sure god will restore me double... yeahh...
actually the sad thing to me is my phone lah.. and also cuz of my mum.. she kept on scolding mi and all dat and dat realli made mi feel 10000 times worse den b4.. not to mention all the sadness of yesterday's events.. if she didnt keep on scolding me with all those negative stuff and hurting things, i guess i wouldnt be so sad lah,.. at macs she came awhile to tell mi to meet her at marine bowl and i was with frenz.. so i jokingly said, mum i no phone liao but u said recently u would change my phone so tml we go buy k? den she just said u dream on ah.. and walked off.. straight in my face.. duhhh that sux okie...
hai.. now my eyes are red red one.. cuz i juz now play captain ball in the sun den quite tired so eyes red and plus the heavy crying done in a single nite.. quite incredible huh.. yepp i guess so..
tml serving 4th service, i noe its for god and all dat.. but sumhow rite at this moment, i got the kinda feeling dat i dun wanna do anything but stay home locked in my room.. sighhs.. i hope i'll feel different tml.. i relaly hope.. gd nite everybody.. i dislike 20th feb 2005.. but i believe my restoration is coming and is really near.. amen!!
winterangel
#!4
get your heels on
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