Thursday, January 27, 2005
ahh.. this morning i woke up at 5.45am with my nose all clogged up and running and everything.. i was practically blowing my nose for straight 15 mins before i got back onto my bed and wrapped myself up with the blanket... however after 10 mins i had to get up AGAIn to get ready for school.. my bro had to go for his army napfa test today so had to wake up especially early as he has to reach at 7.30am at toa payoh.. but by the time he and his fren got ready it was 6.40am.. my mum asked mi to wait for my father den he'll send me.. straight away my reaction was WAD? so i woke up early for nothing? i could haf at least slept for 30 mins more? that meant alot cuz i wasnt feeling too well.. but in the end i kena scolded by my dad for complaining and all dat..
so today i reached school wif my eyes all teary and swollen cuz of my nose.. i totally looked a complete horror... the whole day during lessons felt sooo much like just putting my head on the table and sleeping.. my eyes felt so pain and dry probably becuz of the fan and so tempted to just drift off to slp man.. so anyway i didnt go for math tuition today cuz i noe i WOULDNT be able to concentrate well or even listen to wad he wans to teach me.. so i jus came hom eto catch some slp.. i slept until 9pm, had my dinner den started to study for tml's bio test!! =S duno how to study for it lehh.. i mean i dunno wad i'm supposed to memorise and all dat.. nothing realli goes in.. mayb i'll try to do it later.. i was doing my a maths, practising realli hard.. and surprisingly, its getting beta, i can do it faster and correct.. though sometimes i have careless mistakes, but it is improving.. yippeee.. thank god~!!
plans for tomorrow? going to raffles place to check out the place so dat we wun be so lost when we go there for the history trail on saturday.. the competition is just so cool.. they actually give us high cards, we're supposed to travel around singapore river there and look for answers to questions that they'll sms us.. den we sms the answer back to them then they'll send another sms to tell us whether we got it right or not.. they also take the timing we take to complete the entire "Race".. haha feel itz rather high tech lehh.. the high card actually has $15 worth of value so the balance amount after the competition is for our own keeping, so mi huiying and valerie decided to split it by downloading ringtones+wallpapers for ourselves.. cool!!! hehe.. the second part of the competition is dat we'll have to make a webpage on this competition thing, with fotos and info about that place.. so i guess i'll bring my video cam along so that i could provide some video footages for the webbie.. stil considering though..
I CAN SKIP TRAINING TOMORROW!!!
was searching through the net for my quote of the day and this is wad i'm gona use.. : "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." C. S. Lewis. i lik it alot...
oh yahh.. and....... the com is finally in my room.. did lotsa packing and clearing my stuff so dat the printer and everything could be shifted inside here.. now i feel so comfortable updating.. oki den i'll get back to my bio already.. cya everyone..!!
winterangel
#11
get your heels on
;
Saturday, January 22, 2005
despite sleeping for very long, i stil felt so tired when i woke up this morning.. i woke up at 11.30? but still felt lik it was 8.. but anyway went for lunch at creation den went d.a.r.e... met up with rach and went in.. suddenly they said they were gona use a cam today.. =O.. went isaac told mi last yr dat there was gona be camera, i didnt expect it to be so fast.. anyway dewey came to teach the "video department" peeps how to connect the cam, do up the settings and projectors blah blah.. so before i knew it a whole CHUNK of things was stuffed into my mind and was supposed to remember it...obviously i couldnt the first time.. haha zac even betta, he kinda lik didnt remember a single thing.. so asked dewey lao shi to explain+ write down.. was blurred by everything lah.. but during praise and worship was sitting next to the BEAUTIFUL machine trying to reason out why it had to be set that way.. and understand beta now lah..
during praise and worship sat at the back of the auditorium with zac.. but after awhile when ppl started going up for prayer with the music playin in the background.. i started lik thinking and dreaming lah..
when i joined video min last yr.. saw all the cameras and all dat.. den went to teenzeal, i was imagining dat teenzeal would haf cameras too.. to like take pastor lawrence[at that time it was him preaching] and i would be part of the team who would be operating... of cuz at that point of time, it seemed impossible and felt that i muz be over obsessed with seeing the cameras that everywhere i go i feel that having cameras are needed.. moreover at that time i jus joined video min and hardly even knew how to use a cam.. so while listening to the song "Majesty" just now.. was just thinking how much god has moved in teenzeal.. lik now there so many new adjustments in d.a.r.e.. we have grown in number blah blah.. now even can use camera.. its kinda like a wow to me.. i mean campus young adults have camera no big deal wad.. the ppl there can handle it and all dat.. but for d.a.r.e to also lik decide to use it is kinda lik a wow.. so thank god lah.. my wish has come true.. at least it looks much beta now with deacon on the screen..
next up, before i knew it teacher isaac ask mi take over jer liang.. oki the tripod v hard to handle.. i think he made the left right too loose already.. and up down too tight.. so v hard to pan up and down.. grrr... den i lean over to my left foot to look at the centre screen to follow cuz the cam screen v hard to see ba.. so my left thigh and calf almost cramped!! =S gosh.. feel so bu zi zai with the tripod cuz never used that kind b4.. anyway the experience was gd~ =)) at least dun need to focus.. so v ez~ wheeeee! haha...
just now my family was discussing whether the com should be shifted to my room.. sighs.. i badly want it too.. find it so inconvenient to run over to my bro's room to use it and realize dat he needs it.. there's a spare com dat's just collecting dust in one corner.. and my mum wans to put it in the living room.. why not my room?? might as well rite? put in the living room for wad? hais.. but nobody believes dat im disciplined enuff.. =( -sad-.. my dad said dat he can try putting it in my room but once he feels dat i'm abusing it, he'll shift it out.. he wans a table to be made so dat anytime i misbehave he'll have it shifted out to the living room straight away.. my mum disagreed and said dat when we need it den make it if not wad if we dun use it.. which is quite true.. but my dad insisted dat one shld be made FIRST.. haiz.. which makes mi feel even more discouraged.. am i really so irresponsible and not disciplined? nobody even trusts mi and believes in me.. my dad wans mi to tell him why the com should be there.. i said i need it and just trust me can? den he was lik.. trust?? no.. thats not a reason AT ALL.. sighs.. that really affected me lahh.. and now.. i just have that forget it kind of attitude towards this issue already.. i mean if i realli mean to abuse it rite, even if itz in the living room, i would loh.. dun haf to be in my room den i'll abuse it.. that kinda thing.. buttt........ ahhh forget it... my mum and dad kinda argued over that issue.. so quite sad about it.. but now their ok liao..
nite everyone~!! =))
winterangel
#10
get your heels on
;
Friday, January 21, 2005
today had video min meeting at 4th flr overflow so rushed from training back home den pia there... found out that for once i'm not late!! so anyway was just thinking alot on the dreams part that was shared lor... like ya everyone does have dreams, whether big or small, it does exist.. though some may deny but deep in your heart, u do have a dream and i'm no exception...
to me, dreams are lik sumwhat quite impossible to reach out too... cuz if it's easy to acheive it, i'll define it as hopes, not dreams.. mayb i'm just 15 dats why dreams still seem distant in being acheived... just now i was just watching american idol auditions... everyone claimed that they have a dream and that's to becum the nxt american idol..in the end they sang terribly... den i realised, dreams.... not everyone realises their dreams, some ends up disappointed... will i too? sometimes i dream that when i grow up, i wan to make a difference... i dun wanna live my life quietly.. i wan to have an impact on people's lives... i haf no idea how it is gona be done but that's kinda like my desire... anyway, its JUSt a dream...
well, it was my first meeting so lik didnt noe wad to do at first? didn't even noe what to expect, just sat there, listening, waiting for sumthing to happen... the funny thing is that i finally realise that video is actually a realli realli small ministry leh!! oki fine i abit wols lah hor.. but realli.. so little ppl lik dat.. but i still hardly know everyone... =(( btw i stil dunno how to fill up the paper that was given out man.. totally no idea... i kinda like wan to keep my aspirations, dreams and goals to myself.. dun really like sharing.. heh heh... -selfish-..
oki anyway last nite i was just doing up the other half part of the 2g clip dat i was working on for quite some time.. i think everyone was getting impatient to see the next part of the clip.. heh heh.. well anyway it's already done, pia-ed finish it last nite man.. it isnt really VERY well done but its OK.. just acceptable as keepsake.. cuz my com is like really slow, very laggy, always hanging.. so i dun really dare to try different kinds of ways to do it... plus there are contraints due to the prog i'm using.. but i hope 2g likes it!!! whee.... anyway in the end this morning i had this really BAD STOMACH CRAMP and so didnt go to sch on time lah.. decided to slp in a little longer, den went to sch at about 9.30am... ^-^
first period was actually mr fizz's lesson but i missed it so went for second period... while walking to my class i passed by this class where mr fizz was teaching in.. so with my bag and all that i strolled past that classroom only to receive this shocked and bewildered look on his face.. he practically stopped teaching and his eyes followed mi as i walked past the class.. haha.. den my second period teacher was lik "wa..." so i just said my gd morning and went in.. haha... oh yahh this mon got hist test!!! i hardly even understood the whole chap man.. how to take the test..!! -grabs hair-
east zone for my sch b boys officially started today.. against broadrick.. score was 58-20 sumthing lah.. cant remember.. but it's a gd start, only a pity dat broadrick wasn't thrashed more..!!
okii plans for tml.. finally there's no training man.. and thus i can go bowling+ play mahjong!! yay! a day of enjoyment and relaxation.. i'm starting to fall in love with public hols.. whheee~ and to end of the day, i can watch american idol.. yeah man its all planned up.. i'm ready to slp and start a new day.. [lame].. nite everyone..
winterangel
#9
get your heels on
;
Sunday, January 16, 2005
since the guys wan their pics up too.. here u go~ 
get your heels on
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ip pupils leaving us to jc next yr
get your heels on
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our farewell cakee
get your heels on
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yeah~
get your heels on
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Saturday, January 15, 2005
my dad just had a little talk with me... just suddenly he came into the computer room and sat on the bed and started talking... i can just remember a little about what he said but not all cuz he said really alot of things... he kinda said that from p6 dat yr till now i've been realli enjoying myself and not many people can haf this kind of luxurious life style such as mine.. he said he envied me and wished that he could be the same like me... but from now till i'm 21 yrs old, i should stop myself at during certain milestones and reflect about what i've done in my life and what i'm supposed to do... for example: have i given my fullest in whatever i've done?, have i studied to the best of my abilities?, am i pursuing my interests to the max?, do i play hard when i'm supposed to... have i done what i wan to do?... these actually reflects wad i've done and what i've yet to do... he said that he and my mum have been supporting my interests from young though i keep on changing my interests but he said that this was my process in growing up so they try to give me the best in whatever i wanted to do... but he wans me to know that in 10 yrs down the road, i may be married or wanting to start a family already.. that means dat there's only 10 more "free" yrs and 10 more yrs to lead my this kinda lifestyle... he said dat my every second and minute is always spent to the fullest as i'm always always always busy doing sumthing.. always occupied with some work... so my growing years is going to be spent vvvv quickly.. thats why he wans mi to reflect on myself every few months..
itz v meaningful.. its like a wake up call?? i'm already 15... i haf to learn to pursue my own dreams, work hard for my future and not just always rely and them for everything.. if i lik sumthing, i gotta go learn about that thing myself... not always run to them and ask them about this and dat...
he told me that my bro has wasted much time during his growing up years doing things dat are totally no useful.. like playing this and that.. and he just used the balance time to study... he didnt learn anything else and all dat.. so his gotta pay for it along the way eventually... i dun wanna be like him.. i wanna have aims, goals, dreams... id un wanna waste my youth away doing things dat are useless...
winterangel
#8
get your heels on
;
Sighs.. have u wondered why the more u try to hold onto something, the more u cant get a firm grip of it.. have u wondered why some things happen the way they do? like everything seems to happen the opposite way u wan it to... i mean this is so ironic isnt it? the more u try and try with all your might, u cant even catch a little of it... but once u are totally discouraged and give up all hopes on it, it comes right along just in front of your face but u don't even have the strength to get it anymore... i just cant accept the fact that i was totally defeated, and greatly defeated... isnt that so sad? yeah i know probably the whole world can just go ahead and laugh at me, i dun really care anymore ya know...
sometimes i try so hard, i pray sooo hard dat it proves worthless.. i now understand dat i have to just let go and let god... my "works" are just never enough to earn anything.. i didnt understand that in the past.. i just kept on trying and trying everyday, forcing myself to attain the un-attainable and ended up feeling like a total mess.. i just have to relax and just give the cares to Him.. i finally realize itz not how much/hard u pray, its how much u trust that he will answer your prayers..
sad.depressed.dejected.lonely.disturbed.unwanted.uncared for.unreliable.irresponsible.untrustworthy.disgust.stupid.crazy.beyond help.
this is wad the devil made me think about myself..
however, no longer, how can god's child be unwanted? or crazy? i mean god is my father so by saying dat i'm crazy means dat he is too.. how can dat be? we are the greatest form of creation of god, if i still am uncared for, wad are the animals, plants, oceans, skies? he takes care of every living thing on this earth, the smallest creature to the most useless ones, wad more me? the highest creation and his child? like wad deacon dan[lao da] said..
if ANYONE is loved, it is ME.. if ANYONE were to score straight a1s, it is ME.. if ANYONE were to get a promotion, it would be ME .. if ANYONE is the prettiest in his eyes, it is ME.. and i strongly believe that i will be able to score my a1s...
i think in the course of bloggin this entry, i've actually made myself feel much beta.. i was just letting my thoughts flow and flow.. my depressed feelings flowed at first, but sumhow along the way, things came into my mind and somehow.. i'm feeling beta alreadyy.. thank yew jesus..-tears- =)
winterangel
#7
get your heels on
;
Friday, January 14, 2005
g`5 will always rock~
get your heels on
;
our very own 2g flag!
get your heels on
;
one of the rare occasions when everyone can pose so nicely!!
get your heels on
;
today's training was the toughest dat i've ever had.. warm up was 100 pumping 100 sit ups.. then had to do 50 timings... that was enuff to make my whole body feel ruan3.. i think the coach is crazy.. she wans to torture us... to end of the training, we did 10 rounds of "si zhe"... that means from one end of the court, run to free throw line, run back den run to half court line, run back, run to the other side's free throw line, run back, run to the other end and run all the way back.. dat is 1 round.. and we did 10.. amazing rite? i dunno how i actually survived it but it felt great to run with nana , fe and mei mei... fe and mei mei runs really fast so itz gd dat we had to constantly chase up with them...
basically today there's nothing really much dat happened... just a normal sch day with lessons and all... but, my mum kinda set many many rules for me to abide to from today onwards and i was so =(
:x: from mon to fri, i can only spend a maximum of 30 mins on the com+phone each day...
:x: mon to fri my schedule is like this: go sch, come home, bathe, eat, do homework and sleep.. no watching tv no nothing...
:x: sat will be my free day and can do anything on that day...but i think its crap cuz every alternate sat there's d.a.r.e and i gotta be there for every single d.a.r.e cuz of some commitments...
:x: sun muz be kept free for church and when i reach home from church at nite, i gotta do homework and revise for my weekly common tests held on mon..
i absolutely do not haf a life now man... study, work, study, work.. thats all dat i see now.. soon i think u'll see a walking zombie floating around.. dats me.. ='(... arghh..
you noe pastor was saying, if time is wad u need, give time to god and he will make sure he multiplies it for u... dats wad i realli need now lord... i believe dat u will step in...
winterangel
#6
get your heels on
;
Thursday, January 13, 2005
itz been rather long since i last updated.. this week has been rather tiring and stressful for me? like on sun me, nana, yingz, vianz were rushing our ss proj which was due on mon.. it was "supposed" to be our hol homework but obviously it had not been done.. so we rushed the proj from around 2 in the afternoon till 1 plus in the morning... at first we were still quite relaxed but as the night approched, we were getting more anxious.. by 10 o clock u could see the four of us frantically trying to write and type away... yingz was fixing up our website, i was typing out all the stuff to transfer over to the webbie, vianz was writing out the summary and reviews and nana was editing vianz work.. it was totally hectic in my bro's room... so we rushed rushed rushed and by 1 plus nearly 2 we decided to give up on the few sources dat we had not time to complete... my mum sent them home cuz there wasnt any bus already... in addition, there was this CHINESE yan yu test the next day and chinese juz drives me nuts... [so does the chi teacher!!]
i woke up the next day with this headache and blurness... cuz i woke up early on sun to get to church den that nite still slept late.. so i quickly took the test and lied on my table to slp.. zZzzZzz.. it was still ok lahh.. hope i pass...!!!
that nite i think i slept late again cuz i was revamping this blog stuff.. now i hope it looks less messy !! so on tues, i was realli worn out... plus there was this torturous training that took place in our very own stadium... let me stress that it WAS torturous.. we practically played 5 on 5 with each other the whole training, ran lik 20 rounds bball court, free throws, run 10 times of half court "si zhe".. dat was terrible... absolutely terrible esp when i didnt haf enuff slp for the past few days..
today im officially physically, mentally worn out... why? i had to go through boring a/e maths tuition today and i practically felt my eyelids closing while the tuitor was explaining to me.. but of cuz i didnt cuz it'll be rude.. and.... today we did lik 30 maths sums in class over a period of 1 hr today... how great is dat? i juz simply "love" maths since it is sooo "easy".. wad can i say? i think today is like a maths day.. now there are numbers written all over in my head now..!! arghh...
lets talk about the more happy stuff... bio today simply rox.. i realli like the microscope thingy and looking at the onion and cheek cells!! so interesting... justin siau kinda scraped off a piece of justinn's broken wrist's skin[ i think so] and put it under the microscope.. and when i looked at it, i felt like puking.. so yucky.. its like playing house of the dead and the zombie's skin texture was like dat... ewww... haha.. and mr fizz was so funny.. me and yingz and him left bio lab at the same time but he parted halfway.. and we said bye to him.. so we continued walking but when we were reaching our class, we saw him leaning over at the lockers there.. and was amazed at how fast he could get there.. den he said he jumped all the way from ground floor up here[ we're on the 4th floor u see].. anyway he v funny.. oh yah ms ow's lesson was already funn fun funn!! at first she asked us," are all of u ok? your look v dead u noe..." den tianz mi yingz were lik.. v tired lahh!!! [normally we'llmake alot of noise but today exception..] she suggested that we do some exercise..!! anyway she gave us some quiz to do, itz sumthing on our learning style and abilities.. and i found out that my way of learning was visually and kinesthetically[if there's such a word]... actually itz quite true though.. cuz i cant learn through audio lik listening to lectures and all dat.. i needa look at the book/words and write in down den i can actually absorb.. so there...
class comm had a meeting during second recess about our class rules and notice board decor.. we were thinking of what word to be used to represent 3 a.. muz start with a one.. so we were crapping ard.. apple, ant, animal, aloha, aunty, ah ma.. haha.. den suddenly ah lian and ah beng came out.. haha.. any ideas for wad nice words?? haha.. i think we wanna do a class tee as well but who can decorate???! hehe..
just some thoughts for today.. i was linking everyone's blog to mine and shun bian saw their latest entries... i realised lots of my frenz are actually god lovers u noe.. i nv expected them to be.. lik i looked at nana's one.. and behind that v ap ger[hehe].. u noe she actually runs after god and his ways.. i mean i always thought dat she didnt care much bout god and all dat but.. sumhow whatever she typed kinda encouraged me.. "he'll be in the finish of ur dream" and when i think about it, i find out how true it realli is.. he'll not only be in the finish, he'll be in the start, he'll be with u along the journey and finally at the end... he'll never forsake us.. so juz build my dream upon his foundation.. yepps.. dats all.. nite to all..
winterangel
#5
get your heels on
;
Friday, January 07, 2005
hey hey.. today juz had training and came back not long ago.. today had a little change in timetable, i guess there was some confusion and in the end my class had a free period.. me and yingz were like attempting to practise our a maths but the whole one hr we were practically trying to figure out ONE question and by the nxt period we still didnt noe how to do it.. brilliant isnt it? add maths is totally NOT fun i tell u.. and i haf totally no idea why i haf to take it..
i love ms ow's lesson man!! so fun + funny + relaxing.. 1 hr passes so quickly this way.. not lik CHEM.. where mrs lam, the veri boring teacher, juz talks to herself the whole lesson.. i think i'm gona enjoy my CORE humans this yr too.. yay~ see i'm looking on the brighter side already.. so dun say im depressed okayy!! daddy god loves me and he wans the best for me..
so basically nothing much happened today that's worth typing about.. except that we had to play with c boys practise match again.. i guess i'm not that afraid to play or have contact with them anymore.. i juz try to bulldoze my way and play a little rougher.. i hope the coaches are able to see the difference cuz i'm realli trying my best already.. my best!! yeps dats all folks, i think i'm gona haf an early night.. gona train tml AGAIN~ boooo!! nite ppl!
winterangel
#4
get your heels on
;
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
wow.. i've been trying to update for the past few days.. couldnt find the time.. anyway today is first day of sch.. not that im exactly excited and happie abt it though.. it's been a realli tiring day for me and i kinda hate school now.. the new class is rather sad loh.. all so quiet all so not sporting.. i dunno how we're gona bond or actually be close at all.. there's juz so much difference.. felt so fed up cuz the teachers also suck man.. wang ee chew.. how great is that?? i feel like juz changing class.. but 3a is already the class that has the most 2g'04 ppl there.. there's this new principle in school too.. im not sure whether she can be considered beta den mr wang.. in terms of speaking and communicating, she is definitely heaven and he is... i duno where.. but she expects SO much and is trying to change our school like dat loh.. i feel so much like in chij schools already.. the feeling she gives me and all the changes dat she wans.. cant blame her though, she was a trainee from chij katong.. [my pri sch!!!] okay so anyway after school we collected our jerseys den go tm.. met my family to watch ocean 12.. omg.. its lik so shitty.. i wonder why this show is even in cinemas.. the plot is like not there?? i duno but i couldnt understand it at all and even if i did.. i guess its not gd either.. hais.. waste of my time.. felt SO tired today dat i dropped to my bed the moment i reached home.. immediately felt lik crying cuz so tired and so much stuff left for me to do!!!
so i quickly went to bathroom to bathe, on the shower let the water run down and juz sobbed.. i felt so stressed cuz of lotsa things.. lik im so worried bout my o levels.. my teachers realli suck and i juz realised that tjc admission is 8 points.. i mean thats so impossible to me loh.. den i was thinking : it's onli the first day and im lik so tired.. wiped out.. how am i gona survive this sec 3/4 yr?? sumore tml got training.. arghh.. so many things so i kinda cried awhile.. but after i got out from the shower.. i calmed down and got rational..
well god is still there for me and i believe he will make a way.. though times may seem hard and tough but his loves mi so much dat he wun bear to make mi suffer.. so thus i decided to pull myself together and start doing my project.. so here i am.. on the internet.. i finished one source already.. [thats a great start..] yepps.. and dats all for today.. tata~
winterangel
#3
get your heels on
;
Sunday, January 02, 2005
hahax.. now at rach's hse updating.. juz played lik duno how many games of mahjong lah.. haha.. finally im satisfied and no longer have the craving to play mahjong.. hehe.. now wad i wanna do is to shop actualli.. cuz the 100 bucks i got from my mum for christmas still have lik 30 bucks left.. so wanna go spend it!!! buy new things to start of the new yr.. oh yah.. i got rach to join the lyrics department thingy!! so if she can officially join us then we'll haf 4 ppl in "video".. whee~ haha.. anyway this place im in is juz kinda "next door" to zuan ming's house den i saw him playing football downstairs.. hmmx.. so qiao hor.. well.. so.. now gona try to find other things to add to my bloggie.. haha.. yeps.. cya..
winterangel
#2
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get your heels on
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Saturday, January 01, 2005
hahax.. finally got myself another blog liao.. much beta den the old boring one rite?? today is christmas eve.. didnt go training again.. im not exactly in the best condition now.. i dun care wad the others will say.. i slack or wad but i reali cant train in this condition.. hahax.. now in the midst of linking everyone.. v sianz lehh.. so many to link hehe.. i'll do it slowly.. realli wish tml haf d.a.r.e lehh.. i miss the meetings already.. and im realli looking forward to the new video ministry dats gona be in d.a.r.e.. cant wait for it to officially be opened!!! hehe.. yepps.. oki.. cyaz~
::lost::
#1
get your heels on
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